Awaken Your Inner Whole Woman
Awaken Your Inner Whole Woman
Navigating Relationships Through Spiritual Awakening: Insights and Transformations
Join Natolie Warren and special guest Lori Scott, a skilled marriage and family therapist and certified relationship transformational coach, as we journey through the enlightening and sometimes rocky path of spiritual awakening. Listen as Natolie and Lori offer a transparent look into their own transformative experiences, shedding light on how spiritual awakening can impact personal connections, both nurturing growth and challenging established dynamics.
In this episode, Natolie and Lori unpack the complex dance of navigating relationships amidst spiritual growth. From recognizing superficial spiritual alignments in partners to embracing the fear of losing cherished relationships, they provide heartfelt insights on learning to own your experiences and recognizing when an ending might actually be a blessing. The discussion also highlights the importance of non-judgment and acceptance as part of this continuous journey. Offering hope and wisdom, they remind us that each emotion and experience is a crucial part of awakening to a more authentic self. Tune in to understand how to align with your true essence, even when the path seems daunting.
Meet Lori
Lori Scott is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as a certified relationship transformation coach. She is the owner of a thriving boutique private practice where she provides counseling and coaching services for individuals, couples, and families.
For over 12 years, Lori has specialized in helping people put an end to being miserable and stuck through a series of transformative conversations focused on finding solutions to their issues instead of focusing on the issues themselves.
Her clients are then able to free themselves from self-limiting thoughts; toxicity in their relationships, worrying about what they can’t control; fearing failure; and living beneath their potential.
She has been featured in Who’s Who of America, Voyage Alt Magazine, as well as Bold Journey Magazine.
When Lori is not in session, she loves spending time with her family and friends. She enjoys hosting parties with her husband, attending jazz concerts, playing cards (Bid Whist and Spades), reading, listening to music, dancing, walking on nature trails, traveling, and working in her yard.
Website: https://moveforwardcc.com/
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Healing and Wholeness for Every Woman
Welcome to Awaken your Inner Whole Woman, the show for spiritually rooted women who are hungry for change and growth. I am your host, natalie Warren, and my mission as a personal development strategist and inner healer is to inspire, educate and motivate women worldwide to stop limiting themselves and settling for less than what they want and were created to be. If you are ready to transform your life by getting out of your own way, hearing your soul's voice above the noise and activating your life's purpose, you are at the best place. Let's tune in to today's episode of you are at the best place. Let's tune in to today's episode of Awaken your Inner Whole Woman. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to Awaken your Inner Whole Woman podcast. I am delighted that you have made a choice to be with us in this space at this time. I don't take you for granted and your willingness to be here, because I know that you are here because you're ready to awaken. You're ready to awaken to the truth of who you are. You're ready to awaken to healing. You're ready to awaken to consciousness and even if you don't fully understand or know what that is in this moment, I believe your soul knows and that you've been called to be here at this time to hear this particular podcast, so welcome. If this is your first time and if you have been before, I appreciate each time you return to our podcast.
Speaker 1:Now, today, I'm going to be sharing about a topic. You've probably been hearing me kind of drop things here and there on, but we're going to dive deeper into a topic around spiritual awakenings and we're going to talk about how does a spiritual awakening, or how could it, impact relationships. And guess what? I'm not doing this episode alone today. I have a special guest that I'm going to invite you to welcome as well with me. Ms Lori Scott is in the space, who will be sharing about her own experiences, but for the moment, she's a licensed marriage and family therapist and she's a certified relationship transformational coach. Lori, come on in and say hello to us and then share what else you want the audience to know about you.
Speaker 2:Hello, hi, you've said most things Other than that I would say I'm a mother of three grown children, grandmother of two beautiful little boys. I enjoy spending time outside. I enjoy playing bit with in space. I love playing cards and I love jazz. I just I'm a lover of life.
Speaker 1:Yes, I hear it. I hear it, and I'm so thankful that you are here, that the space and the time for us has aligned for you to expound on what it means for you. So, really, for me, a spiritual awakening is this sacred journey of self-discovery and transformation, and some would even find that it is this deep call or shift within them that they want to see the world in a new way, they want to see themselves in a new way, and I found, as I've been going through it, it's just waking up, like just waking up, what seems like, or could feel like, a sleep that you've been in and you start to question, or at least I did. I started to question everything that I believed, the patterns that I was doing, the routines and how I really wanted to show up in a bigger and different way in the world. I'm curious for you, kind of in your opinion, what is a spiritual awakening?
Speaker 2:So, for me, a spiritual awakening is opening consciousness, like becoming aware. It's similar to what you're saying, but really becoming aware of who you are and who you're being in real time, like coming into now and experiencing now in a way that you never have before. And like when you mentioned questioning yes, definitely questioning everything, because we've been taught so many things that, for the most part, are untrue. So I think, also, a spiritual awakening is becoming open to the fact that there has been a program running in the background of our lives, and now we get to choose how we want to live. So, then, spiritual awakening can also mean coming into the understanding that you have a choice.
Speaker 1:I'll say that Wow, Wow, Like I think of the movie the Matrix, as I heard you kind of sharing that, but just becoming more aware, becoming more in tune to this ability to choose, and that looks like questioning old patterns and old beliefs and old programming. I found it to be very while it was very liberating, it was very scary. I don't know if you share in that, Lori, but it was scary to question things that I had always known.
Speaker 2:Tell me about your experience and the roller coaster that that could be about your experience and the roller coaster that that could be. Yeah, it can be very scary, uh, because it's like it rocks your foundation, like it. It takes you off your foundation and so, yes, if you're, if you're off your footing and you don't have that steady footing anymore, yes, that becomes um, pretty daunting. And so, um, for me, coming into this spiritual awakening has been, um, I wouldn't say mind blowing, but in a way, kind of mind blowing, like like, wow, this and you know, this is this, is actually happening, and actually kind of love it. And actually, at the same time, I've never experienced this before. And, um, and it's exciting. It's exciting and actually, at the same time, I've never experienced this before and it's exciting. It's exciting and a little scary at the same time. And, choosing in that choice that I was speaking of before, do I choose for this to be a frightening experience or a liberating one? So I've decided to allow it to be liberating for me.
Speaker 1:So I've decided to allow it to be liberating for me. I love that. Yeah, just trying to exercising the power to choose, even in how I want to see this experience, how I want to go through it, what's the mindset I want to take with it. I remember, as you talked about just choosing, I remember choosing was scary at times when I say that, meaning wow, wait a minute, now I have the power to choose. So what do I choose? Right, because if we're in the programming as you described in these old beliefs and systems, it was chosen for me. And now I realize I have to choose. And not only do I get to choose, I also am responsible for the choice that I make. Right, I can't blame it on someone else, like I could have before.
Speaker 2:Tell me about that Exactly, and even with that being the case because that's been something that has come up for me recently, whenever I feel the way I'm feeling and I call them invitations there's an invitation for me to blame somebody, anybody, because that's been my program, that's been how I had been used to doing, and so, in the choosing space, it's recognizing that if you are to blame, if you're blaming someone, you have to blame yourself, you know. So the balance it has to be like a math equation which you do to one side, you have to do to the other side, and if you don't want to blame yourself, then you can't blame anybody else. So then what if we take blame off the table itself and recognize things happen the way they do? And now how do you choose to move from that space? So I'm learning to leave blame alone.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And and own, like what was my role, Not so much from a blame space, but what did I do and what did I learn and how can I move differently?
Speaker 1:Right, right. And I think for me, as you said, that I tickled or laughed because I also think, not just coming from the place of blame, but I also realized, I woke up to this idea that I was waiting on something or someone, or even God, to take care of the choice for me. Right, because then if it went wrong or it didn't work out, I would have something to blame. Right, something outside of myself. And when you take that off the table, it's like no, natalie, you are the one that needs to be accountable and you are the one that needs to get up and make it happen. And that ownership has been interesting. Yeah, I will say that.
Speaker 2:Yes, I agree.
Speaker 1:Yes. So, as we're exploring this and talking about it, I think of all of these changes are happening, and today we're going to focus on relationships, and so, if you will, lori, explain how you actually became aware of your spiritual awakening, because everybody has a different path, even entering into one. I'd love for you to share that.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure. So, as you share earlier, I am a licensed marriage therapist, and the type of therapy that I provide is called solution focused therapy. Solution focused therapy, and so, in that, it's almost like the introduction to a new you. When I'm providing counseling for someone, I asked them what their best hopes are and what they would notice when they achieve their best hopes, and so that's like a journey of deciding to be a new person. And so, on my spiritual journey, as I conducted so many of those sessions, I thought about Lord, what would that like? What are your best hopes? And along that journey, I started to look at what my life would look like if I thought differently. Right, and so that was around 2018.
Speaker 2:And my daughter one of my daughters told me about the book, the Four Agreements, and that book, in connection with solution-focused therapy, just took me into such a whole new world. Right, like you know, you've never well, I don't know if you've ever heard don't take anything in person. I've heard that, but I never embraced it like I did when I read the four agreements. Like and the four agreements actually are to be impeccable with your word right. Like to say something and mean it and be truthful and and and don't talk down to yourself or about other people, and and then the second one is to not take anything personally. And then the other one is don't make assumptions. And then the last one is to do your best and when, when the and it's such a short read, but when that book broke those agreements down, it just I felt so enlightened and realizing, especially with not taking anything personally, that no one does anything because of you. When I discovered that, natalie, it just blew my mind. I was just like, oh my God. And so, from that perspective, that was an awakening. And to really put those agreements into practice, which those agreements are really like principles.
Speaker 2:It brought me to another book, like Set Boundaries and Find Peace, and that one was beautiful because it solidified the fact that if you have choices in your life that bring you to you to make you your best self, don't allow other people to shift that for you. And I realized that, not so much as a therapist but, lori, as a person. I've allowed people to change my mind and then I'm hurt behind, you know, as a result of it. So I was like, okay, lori, now revamp, make some major changes. And so, along those lines, when I started to make changes, I just started to feel better. My sessions got better, I just was better, got better, I just was better, you know.
Speaker 2:So, from 18 to like 20, like 2020, I had just I felt like I was just floating, like really just floating, and then in comes a relationship. So you know I can share more about that, but it was just me coming into the understanding that I get to choose how I feel. Right, like we get to choose our feelings and I don't think that people really get that. You get to choose how you feel.
Speaker 2:Like, for example, if someone said you made me, you made me upset, or you made me this, or you make me feel so good, no one makes you feel anything. And that's such a segue in itself. You know, such a paradigm shift because in songs, like I hear them in this term, in songs you make me feel so good or you make me feel, and what that term does, it takes away your choice and it puts it over on someone else that they are responsible for how you feel and you are responsible for how you feel, and when I recognize, like I got it, that I'm, I'm in charge of myself, it just, it just really set so many things in place for me, and I've just never been the same since.
Speaker 1:Wow, I love that and I'm so glad that you had the opportunity to share how it started or your awareness of it, because for you it started through books and this knowledge, this awareness of my ability to choose, and how freeing that has been. We're going to talk about maybe how challenges have come about, but just how freeing it was and the way it happened for you and people will experience spiritual awakenings in so many ways, but I love that. That's how it came through for you. Yeah, yeah, I love that For the listening. It came through for you. Yeah, yeah, I love that For the listening audience. I have a different experience and, if you've heard any of the podcasts around it, Lori, my experience was one day I woke up and numbers were everywhere. There was the numbers three, three, three and emails. It was in social media posts on the clock. It was undeniable that I was seeing this number over and over again, and I go to bed at night and I wake up and I woke up at 333, right, so I'm like okay, this is interesting.
Speaker 1:And I go to sleep and the next night I wake up and I wake up to the clock saying 444. Wow, this is interesting. Go back to sleep the next night and I wake up and it's five, five, five, and I knew immediately something was happening. I knew it Cause I was like this has gotten my attention. What's happening? God is up to something, what's going on? There's something, something is shifting. And then the number pattern just continued with five, five, five.
Speaker 1:And so, as I researched it more, it was about change and transformation, and I had been waiting on some big goals to happen in my life, lori. So I was excited because I'm like, yes, it's getting ready to happen. And I did not know this is 2019 for me, 2018, 2019 going into that. I didn't know that this transformation was happening in me. I thought it was something that was going to happen outside of me, was happening in me. I thought it was something that was going to happen outside of me and I now know, to this day I'm still in this awakening that I am not the same person that I was, and so just everyone will have their own journey.
Speaker 1:I do know some people will have very existential crisis that will happen. Their lives will feel like they're falling apart. Tragedy may have hit their lives so many ways that a spiritual awakening can happen. Their lives will feel like they're falling apart. Tragedy may have hit their lives so many ways that a spiritual awakening can happen. But what I want us to dive in a little further, lori, is relationships, and what does that look like as far as relationships that you may have been in as you were going through this process?
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow. So in the height of this like I would say really kind of more so in the beginning, as this spiritual journey and awakening started to come alive for me, I met someone. I met someone at my cousin's Christmas party back in 19. And at the time he was at the end of a relationship, and so then I saw him again February 2020 at a birthday party, and it was obvious that we were really attracted to each other. So, fast forward to like August of 2020, we started dating and then I think we moved rather quickly because I thought it's kind of like I thought I knew him in a sense where, because we talked so much, but because you know, you know how you meet someone and and you know them from a family member, so it's like, okay, I have the blessings, I, I can vouch this, my cousin can vouch for this person, so it's not like I'm meeting this person blindly. Well, so we we started dating, started living together, because in my mind I'm like I'm in my 50s, what could go wrong? And we dated, we lived together for three years, we decided to get married, but in that process not just that, we just flippantly decided to live together and all these things. The impression was that this person was also on a spiritual journey with me, so it gave me that green light to say, oh yes, this is perfect. This person reads like I do, you know, listens to audio books like he's it. It was like a flow. And then, maybe three years into it, I start to see that's not necessarily the case. It was more about this person fed me what I wanted to hear and was showing me a lot of the things that I was doing, but it's really not what he truly believed within himself, and so I really had paused before I got married, but I just said, well, maybe this would not be the case Like I started to. This would not be the case Like I started to. What? What is it like more? Like doubt myself, in a way, or like be in denial somewhat, because I, you know, I'm thinking I'm in it, why not continue? And hopefully this will get better? And so, needless to say, natalie, it didn't.
Speaker 2:The more I really got more spiritual, spiritual, the more backlash started to come in um, the more I wanted to grow deeper with this person, the more they wanted to close up, and it was like a spiritual warfare that started instead of this spiritual awakening. It became like spiritual warfare and it was utterly devastating because it's like a plane that was in the air and it would have so much potential and just all of a sudden just lost power and just took a no-die, no dive and it literally crashed. So in like one month the relationship just took the biggest nosedive and so come December I'll be a divorced woman and it's like. Initially I felt devastated, but more I realized this is more of a blessing in disguise, because for me I realized that it's better for this to end like it did now instead of linger.
Speaker 2:And I did promise myself that, if this is not what it really pans out to be, don't stay in this Lori, to let this go and be unlike how maybe I was in another marriage or maybe other people who would stay in a marriage just for the sake of staying in it, and it's loveless. And so I gave myself permission to let it go. And was it hard? Yes, but was it eye-opening? Absolutely, because instead of blaming and being resentful, I did look at what I could own and and look at what I've learned and what I can do differently, and it's made such a difference.
Speaker 1:Wow, Wow. Thank you for the transparency of sharing your experience and being able to come from a place of. I am in a space of not blaming but owning, which is a part of what you got in the beginning of your awakening. Yes, like those lessons that kind of opened you up, or the things that you needed to apply even to this situation.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And so let me also be transparent to say there were constant invitations to do otherwise, like to be angry, to be anxious. I also recognized in this timeframe that I had an anxious attachment style and he had an avoiding attachment style. And in providing therapy, because I provided solution focus, I really didn't delve into too much of the attachment styles, but once I recognized that and how my behavior and his behavior was interacting with each other in class and I was like, wow, that's so eye opening.
Speaker 2:And so for the listeners, it's important, if relationships start to go awry, check out your, your personality style and your person's personality style, because that could shed some light. And as I tried to introduce this to my partner, he wasn't hearing it, and so that, which which was even more of a confirmation that this is not my person, um, but the whole thing is you. You become aware of so many things when you're spiritual awakened, if you're on one, if you get tested and I think this whole relationship was a major test for me in my spiritual awakening, and I think everyone is going to be tested and to see where you are and how you can continue to grow. And to see where you are and how you can continue to grow.
Speaker 2:So yes, I definitely got some invitations to act out and I did.
Speaker 2:I did act out and, oh my God, did I act out? And it was more about desperation. So you gotta check in what your intentions are, what spirit are you using when you're doing what you're doing? And so I recognized that I was being desperate because I wanted this relationship to last. Honestly, I wanted it to to grow, I wanted us to be together and I wanted to stay married. But I realized that this relationship didn't start from a place of a higher vibrational space in the first place. It started out from a desperate place because I knew that this guy really wasn't for me from the door and I just decided, okay, maybe I can make this thing work. So that's how I came to understand that this needed to be put to bed. So there was a lot of uh awake, you know awakenings in this space, but also it's a lot of um, life lessons and um, yeah, in this experience.
Speaker 1:Right, like that self-discovery that I talked about earlier a lot of reflection, um I I appreciate that as I um think about my journey, my journey of relationships with spiritual awakening. My spiritual awakening because, lori, I was already in a marriage at and with my experience, I was changing so quickly that I had to question whether they would know, or want to know, the person that I was becoming, and would we align with values and beliefs and goals. What would that look like? So I was very sad at times and very alone because I questioned it. And so, as I'm tiptoeing in this space, god allowed me to meet people that were on the journey. Which I think is so important when we think about relationships and spiritual awakenings is that people will be placed in your path, that will support where you are and where you're going, and I felt like I had permission.
Speaker 1:I had gone to a Reiki healer at the time.
Speaker 1:I was very interested in Reiki and she was sharing with me and she was very intuitive and she said your husband loves you so much and he is so supportive of you and what you're doing, and I needed that because at the time, I was afraid that I might lose him and I said God, if I have to, if you're calling me into this and it means I lose everyone, then I have to say yes. I still say yes, right, which was the scariest choice, but I still chose it. And as I'm talking and telling him, I realized wait a minute, he's a lot more awake than I realized in a lot of ways. And then obviously, my parents and my mom, my sister, I was so afraid of if it meant that I had to lose them. What would that do for me? So I guess I'm speaking to those people who are concerned about relationships, so that you already have and what that could mean, because sometimes, as we continue to evolve, we will lose relationships. People won't be able to go where we're going and being able to accept that.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you had any other um thoughts around that for your experience well I, I saw that he wasn't where I was and he wouldn't say it, though there was a lot of gaslighting, there was a lot of uh. If I didn't feel that way, I would say it, but your actions are showing that you're not lying up, you're not talking to me. You're not. I'm giving you books to read. You're saying I'll get around to it or I didn't have time. That was a lot of the lines that I heard.
Speaker 2:I didn't have time you know, and after a while, well, what do you have time for, you know? And so, um, what I discovered was this person was not aligned with me, this person was not um on the journey that I was on and did not accept. In fact, later on he would say, well, this is all in your mind, like, um, you know, um, you are, uh, it was more like you're strange kind of, but not necessarily saying that. And as far as other families and friends, and even my children, my children, are on a similar spiritual awakening journey in themselves and we have great conversations and and I think that troubled him as well, and um, you could just kind of see over time and I thought, wow, that it that was very disappointing.
Speaker 2:And so, family members, you know, embrace me, my children embrace me, friends, embrace me, everybody that are, you know, that are connected to me, understood and they know this spiritual awakening that I'm on right and um, and asked me lots of questions. It's been very helpful for them. But this particular person, you know, my, my ex, was really resistant toward it and it was so interesting um down to um disagreeing with me as a therapist and he didn't even have, you know, any education in that realm, you know, so to speak, about something that you don't know anything about. I thought that was that was quite interesting, which, again, I think is ultimately part of this test. It doesn't matter who the person is you at some point will be tested, and so you have to remember who you are and not allow someone else to you know, change who you are.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely, wow. I'm so thankful that you're here sharing this, lori, and people are able to hear it and glean from it. They can get what they need from your sharing. I have one other question that I thought of for you and I was curious to see can you tell us where you are today on your journey? I know an awakening is a journey, it's not a destination. So where are you?
Speaker 2:Right. Well, I'm remembering who I am because that, like that whole experience, has really challenged and rocked my foundation to where I had to remember who I am. So I'm, in the place of remembering who, I am, releasing myself from any judgment, because that's another thing that I've learned to not judge people or things, but notice what you're noticing. And if you can notice what you're noticing without judgment, you can make better decisions on where you're going. So that has helped me tremendously. And to also look at certain situations not like a curse or like, oh my God, I hate that that happened and we release that, but to say, how could this be a blessing in disguise. So I'm learning how to look at this situation as a blessing in disguise and, and and again, the learning that came from it, instead of feeling any type of resentment. So that's where I am right now and it's been a blessing.
Speaker 1:Right, and I'm glad that you are at that point, because I'm sure at some point you weren't all the way where you are now. So it just speaks to your continued evolution and growth, and so I appreciate your transparency and your shares around this. And, as you're listening to this as a listening audience, I just hope that, wherever you are on your journey because some people may be at a place where they're not at this place of acceptance but allow yourself to experience all that's in each phase and, if there are emotions that are hard or difficult, just embracing them, to know that that's a part of your growth, your journey. As you continue to go through your process, lori, I know they're wondering how can they find out more about you and what you offer and what you're doing. Please share.
Speaker 2:Okay, so if you're trying to reach me, you could reach me at moveforwardcoun Counseling and Coaching.
Speaker 1:MoveForwardCCcom. Yes, yes, yes. Well, thank you, moveforwardcccom. That's where you can find Lori. It'll also be in the show notes. I so value you being here. Make sure you also go, if you're finding that you're wanting to explore more about your awakening and who you really are, that you also go to the show notes to check out our upcoming retreats. We are going to Greece in 2025. Awaken and thrive, and then we'll be in California. Uh, awaken in the wild. So check those things out until the next episode. Bye for now. Thanks for listening to Awaken your Inner Whole Woman. If you liked our show and want to know more, check us out at wwwawakentothenumber2powercom. You can also leave us a review on iTunes and we would love to hear your feedback. Join us next week for another episode of Awaken your Inner Whole Woman. Thank you.